Processing Pain & Moving Forward

Moving forward is always my goal, but looking back can be a great catalyst for joy, even when the past holds painful memories. Those difficult memories and moments of loss and grief, are often intertwined with new revelations and acts of courage. Through my toughest times, I have gained new wisdom and strength, and deepened relationships with loved ones who showed up to support my journey. I’ve watched my granddaughter reach milestones (throw tantrums and streak through the house, naked).

After laboring with the words and chapters of my second memoir, I secured a publishing deal for my next book and wrote many stories about my life’s adventures. And so even pain can serve us with a higher purpose.

One of the saddest moments was when I lost my beloved dog Mia (see the essay in Sunlight Press). And while we now have a new pup who is walking in Mia’s paw steps and forging her own path as she chews through every shoe along the way and swipes every morsel at opportune times, I continue to mourn the loss of Mia. The pain comes in flickers and flashes, as memories resurface. But so does the laughter as I recall Mia’s antics and the ways she enriched my life, as dogs tend to do for their humans.

So, yes, I’ve been on my share of rollercoaster rides lately. But I continue to be grateful for the gift of joy and even grief.

And so it goes.

“I know that pain is the most important thing in the universe. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater even than the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty…”

― Author Harlan Ellison